Many friendships, indeed almost all relationships of different kinds rely on connection scaffolding.
Connection Scaffolding is the structure that brings a relationship together in the first place.
It can be a mutual interest, such as a love of Simpsons, mutual activities such as rock climbing or mutual location such a neighbourhood.
The most effective scaffoldings are those that bring you together again and again. This is why your close friends are often former schoolmates, housemates or workmates. When circumstances bring us together we are likely to build friendships.
One thing to be aware of is that scaffolding doesn’t have to last, but it’s also important to recognise when it’s being beneficial.
The strength of your connections can be legitimately challenged by a change in employment, a change in residence or a change in finances.
This is one of the things that makes Class Reunions such a fascinating experience. You’re likely to see people that you had very strong associations with but it’s likely you haven’t maintained close connections with many of them after the scaffolding of school was removed.
Connection scaffolding can also be used as a method to strengthen existing Relationships too. Work out what potential scaffolding you can add to a friendship to strengthen a connection. Read the same books, play the same sports, attend the same events.
Just because the things that made you friends in the first place aren’t important any more doesn’t meant you can’t replace it with something even better.
If you enjoyed this post, consider subscribing!